Pony Therapy

I'm starting to get back into a routine, first week of school back is done and under my belt, I presented a speech and got an A on it, I'm satisfied.  Started a short course, Equine Industry Seminar, that I think it going to be neat. Right now, as it was before, the happiest times, when I'm able to let it all go and not think about stresses, obligations, to-do lists... is when I'm at the barn.  Last Wednesday my cousin stopped by with her two kiddos (she has a 2.5 year old boy who is TOO cute!) and we moseyed out to the barn after lunch.  I took Shadow out for a beautiful jog down the road, he was so good.  Which on another...

Continue Reading »

Tailspin

Some times, some days, it feels like things are spinning hopelessly away from me.  It feels as though life is hurtling forward at alarming speed, dragging me along for the ride.  That no matter how hard I try to make things slow down, try to wrestle back control, it continues along.  Like an injured aircraft fighter, spinning out of control, plummeting towards the ground with no hope of pulling out of it. I've been doing a lot of cleaning, re-organizing, and re-arranging of the house.  I have to make room for the crib for the baby, she is quickly outgrowing her cradle.  So, lots of things have to move and find new homes.  I packed up all my husband's clothes the other day... underwear and all.  I couldn't throw or give any of it away, it just seemed like...

Continue Reading »

Thank you

Wow. Just wow, I don't know what to say.  All the comments and well wishes on my last post.  I kept getting email notifications on my phone and it was just one comment after another.  Thank you. Things are starting to settle down, the less urgent things like bank accounts and whatnot are mostly what I have left to do. Then I get to figure out what to do with the rest of my life.  The gravity of it all is starting to settle on me, the fact that life in a split instant was radically and permanently changed.  And it's overwhelming.  Trying to sort through emotions is a whole 'nother ball game... sorrow, guilt, confusion, pain... it hits me the hardest at night when I go to bed and he's not there beside me. The hardest is dealing with the "why" ..... I went to...

Continue Reading »

In Loving Memory

On March 9th, 2013 at 8:12am my husband took his own life and went home to be with our Lord.  The past week has been the longest week of my life, I feel like it has been an eternity.  We held his Memorial Service this afternoon and it was simply beautiful.  It all came together and I couldn't have asked for it to be better.  I have been surrounded by family and friends since this happened.  The outpouring of support has been overwhelming.  This has been very hard to take, and we are all having a rough time.  Now it's time to pick up the pieces and move on, but how?  I hardly know where to start.  My...

Continue Reading »

A nightmare you can't wake up from

Since Saturday morning my life has been hell.  And it just seems to keep getting worse.  I want to wake up, I want this to all go away.  I want it to go back to how it was.  All that goes through my head is "God, why??" No, everything is not ok in my world right now... The only glimmer of hope is that I have found someone to lease Cash.... though it seems trivial and insignificant now. I'm just clinging to this song right now, praying that I will eventually find peace. ...

Continue Reading »

When Nothing Seems Real

The last 30 hours have been nothing short of surreal for me... it's been an experience I pray that nobody ever, ever has to go through.  I just feel numb. So please, if you are a praying person, my family could use your prayers. Thank you, Em...

Continue Reading »

Who needs humans

I had something happen that I've never had happen before.  When I got to the barn Tuesday I got Shadow out just to do some ground driving work with him.  So I got him ready, walked into the arena and turned around to shut the gate.  I needed both hands so I let go of him for a brief second and he took this as a cue to leave.... However, instead of relishing in his newly found freedom, he simply trotted smartly off and, much to my surprise (and eventual delight!), proceeded to trot laps around the arena for about the next ten minutes!  And it wasn't even a crazy trot--it was a nice, steady, relaxed yet forward working trot.  He marched straight down the long sides, went into all his corners, even went over the ground pole at one end of the arena... around and around. ...

Continue Reading »

Cookie Therapy

Yes, Cookie Therapy, otherwise known a bribery.... haha!! So far, it's working.  Whenever I go to catch Cash, or do anything with him now, I go armed with a pocket stuffed full of treats.  Thank God for the 50lb bag of horse cookies that only costs $10... otherwise I'd go broke doing this.  He still won't let me step up to his shoulder to put the rope over his neck to catch him.  So bizare.  He is getting turned out with a turnout halter and I can walk up to him, give him cookies, and grab the halter without much fuss--then I move to his shoulder and put the rope over his neck and then clip it to the halter.  I still don't know that I could catch him without the halter on.  It's just so bizare.  I need to get the vet out to check his teeth, I have a...

Continue Reading »