Tailspin

Some times, some days, it feels like things are spinning hopelessly away from me.  It feels as though life is hurtling forward at alarming speed, dragging me along for the ride.  That no matter how hard I try to make things slow down, try to wrestle back control, it continues along.  Like an injured aircraft fighter, spinning out of control, plummeting towards the ground with no hope of pulling out of it.

I've been doing a lot of cleaning, re-organizing, and re-arranging of the house.  I have to make room for the crib for the baby, she is quickly outgrowing her cradle.  So, lots of things have to move and find new homes.  I packed up all my husband's clothes the other day... underwear and all.  I couldn't throw or give any of it away, it just seemed like it would be... well, it just wasn't an option.  Not yet.

I'm back to school this week, and have to return to work on the 4th.  I'm dreading that....

I wish I could take a very very long vacation.  I'm going the weekend after Easter to a good friend's wedding.  It will be refreshing I think.  But man, trying to sort out finances, apply for aid programs, it's daunting, and overwhelming.  Everything seems overwhelming right now.  Being a single mom is no fun.... :(

It snowed pretty good over the weekend so I haven't gotten out to the barn, I will be going out tomorrow to play with the pony and hopefully Cash too.  Still working on finalizing a lease, I'm crossing my fingers there won't be any problems with that.  But, in the event a lease doesn't work out, I have two people offering to take him for me to keep/ride for awhile until I can (attempt to) get back on my feet. We'll see how it goes.

I can't wait until this is all a long, distant memory.